Dear Family,

Lets try that again haha This is meant to be funny not depressing... :)

So here are my 7 stages of grief for leaving my mission...

1.SHOCK AND DENIAL. Everyone keeps talking about it and I just can't accept it yet. An Elder in our ward is also going home at the same time and whenever people talk about missionaries going home I just throw him under the bus and say he is so no one talks about me going home. haha I am feeling very loved though because members and nonmembers are all making a big deal about me going. They love me :)

2. PAIN AND GUILT. So sometimes I really get sad. For instance, every morning we have personal study and then companionship study. We typically share with each other what we learned in our personal study. I finished telling her about my happy, faith filled personal study and so it was her turn. All she said was, "I read a talk by President Monson called our wonderful journey home.." and I started bawling. hahahaha pretty pathetic huh?

3. ANGER AND BARGAINING. I was so angry the other day I ate a whole plate of brownies and then turned around and ate a big bag of peanut MMs.. I don't even like those things! haha they are going to have to like role me onto the plane...

4. DEPRESSION. The adversary is working really hard on our investigators and it makes me very upset. So I ate some chocolate chip cookies hahaha

5. UPWARD TURN. 2 Nephi 10:23 I finally realized that it is my decision whether to be happy or not. :)

6. RECONSTRUCTION. Not sure what that means but I finally got to go running this morning because they weather wasn't below freezing. It was awesome. That sounds reconstruction like :)

7. HOPE. So I have known my whole mission that my last transfer was going to be really important. I have always had those feelings. I always thought that it would be because people would be really prepared and I would be able to help them into the waters of baptism. Which this is true, but I realized this week it is important for another reason. I will be honest this transfer has been hard and I know this next week isn't going to be super easy but I have learned so much. I have really come to understand why I am here at this time. I sure love the people here and all I want to do is help the feel of God's love and understand why living the Gospel is what is best for them.

I have felt very strongly about working with Brother Shears. I know he will be baptized one dayand hopefully it will be soon. We had an amazing lesson with him yesterday about the Atonement and then this morning he found out some very sad news. It is really neat to realized Heavenly Father knows what is up and it is ever cooler when he allows you to be an instrument in his hands. Please pray for him and his wife.

I know this is all part of God's plan. It is not what I would have originally asked for but I know things will work out for our good.  

I love being a missionary,I love Nebraska and most importantly I love my Heavenly Father and Savior. They live. I know they do. Hopefully I will get to email next but if not. I love you all. The Gospel is so important. Don't ever forget it. Thank you mom and dad for giving me this wonderful opportunity.

HURRAH FOR ISRAEL.

Love, Sister Page.

Leaving it all out on the field

Dear Family,

We found our family! :) Well they were right in front of us the entire time. Actually we are working with a couple families. Well we have been working with a couple part ember families this whole time and they are slowly progress.. but they are progressing! I have just fallen in love with some of these families and I know I will be close to them forever! I may not be here when they get baptized but I have been praying a lot about that and I know everything will be okay. I finally was able to turn everything over to the Lord this last week and I just feel at peace. I know these feelings of peace and hope only come form the Atonement of Jesus Christ. How incredibly amazing that is. Heavenly Father knows me way too well. He knows exactly what I need and when I need it.  Sister Page often has a different idea... but what is new. He know best. We just need to pray to know His plan! Anyway.. I will stop preaching.

So some updates on people we are working with people. So, We have been praying really hard that Sara's dad will give her permission to be baptized. I know this will totally change her families life. Her mom, Amber is doing really well but I think Sara being baptized will really seal the deal for her staying active. She was inactive for ten years unitl like 4 months ago! I think her husband knows that if Sara gets baptized then church will be a big part in their lives from now on. It scares him. That is okay though. WE just wanted to sit down and talk to him, but he kept avoiding us. Finally I just walked downstairs to talk to him and he totally hid in the other room. So we went back upstairs taught Sara the word or wisdom and law of chastity and were about to head on our way. As we were leaving I just felt so strongly that we needed to talk to him tonight so I just said, "I am not leaving until I talk to him." So finally Amber went and talked him into talking with us. He was so nice! We just got to know him a little and then talked to him about Sara being baptized. I totally respect that he is her dad and whatever he decides is his decision, but I just wanted him to know what he was making a decision about. It went really well. AS I was talking with him I had an overwhelming feeling that he would be baptized one day. It was really neat. He didn't give us an answer but I know it softened his heart a little. The next day Sister Taggart, Sara, and Amber and I fasted and prayed together. What a wonderful faith building experience for all of us. On a funny note Amber told us later that at their families New years eve party they were having sparkling cider and Sara thought it was alcohol she starting crying and said, "stop drinking that! It is against the law of chastity!" hahaha woops we probably should go over that a little with her. :) we love her so much.

 Maggie is still set for baptism but she got super sick this week. She was in the hospital for a couple days. She didn't make it to church yesterday so she won't be able to be baptized before I go. Sometimes you wonder why things happen the way they do, but I know everything will work out!

So the family we found is Raquel and Sam. We had met them a while ago but they have been avoiding us for some time now. WE finally caught them at home and since it was below 0 outside they let us in. They finally expressed to us their concerns and we were able to resolve all of them. Lets just say I hate the show "sister wives." they are excited to get more involved and I feel very strongly they will be baptized one day. God is so good! :)

I have to go but I love you all. Be good and remember Heavenly Father loves you! He has a plan for all of us!

I am excited to work hard these next couple of weeks and LEAVE IT ALL OUT ON THE FIELD. If I have learned one thing from sports it would be that you give it all until the very end.

Love, Sister Page