Dear Family,

Lets try that again haha This is meant to be funny not depressing... :)

So here are my 7 stages of grief for leaving my mission...

1.SHOCK AND DENIAL. Everyone keeps talking about it and I just can't accept it yet. An Elder in our ward is also going home at the same time and whenever people talk about missionaries going home I just throw him under the bus and say he is so no one talks about me going home. haha I am feeling very loved though because members and nonmembers are all making a big deal about me going. They love me :)

2. PAIN AND GUILT. So sometimes I really get sad. For instance, every morning we have personal study and then companionship study. We typically share with each other what we learned in our personal study. I finished telling her about my happy, faith filled personal study and so it was her turn. All she said was, "I read a talk by President Monson called our wonderful journey home.." and I started bawling. hahahaha pretty pathetic huh?

3. ANGER AND BARGAINING. I was so angry the other day I ate a whole plate of brownies and then turned around and ate a big bag of peanut MMs.. I don't even like those things! haha they are going to have to like role me onto the plane...

4. DEPRESSION. The adversary is working really hard on our investigators and it makes me very upset. So I ate some chocolate chip cookies hahaha

5. UPWARD TURN. 2 Nephi 10:23 I finally realized that it is my decision whether to be happy or not. :)

6. RECONSTRUCTION. Not sure what that means but I finally got to go running this morning because they weather wasn't below freezing. It was awesome. That sounds reconstruction like :)

7. HOPE. So I have known my whole mission that my last transfer was going to be really important. I have always had those feelings. I always thought that it would be because people would be really prepared and I would be able to help them into the waters of baptism. Which this is true, but I realized this week it is important for another reason. I will be honest this transfer has been hard and I know this next week isn't going to be super easy but I have learned so much. I have really come to understand why I am here at this time. I sure love the people here and all I want to do is help the feel of God's love and understand why living the Gospel is what is best for them.

I have felt very strongly about working with Brother Shears. I know he will be baptized one dayand hopefully it will be soon. We had an amazing lesson with him yesterday about the Atonement and then this morning he found out some very sad news. It is really neat to realized Heavenly Father knows what is up and it is ever cooler when he allows you to be an instrument in his hands. Please pray for him and his wife.

I know this is all part of God's plan. It is not what I would have originally asked for but I know things will work out for our good.  

I love being a missionary,I love Nebraska and most importantly I love my Heavenly Father and Savior. They live. I know they do. Hopefully I will get to email next but if not. I love you all. The Gospel is so important. Don't ever forget it. Thank you mom and dad for giving me this wonderful opportunity.

HURRAH FOR ISRAEL.

Love, Sister Page.